For information about your child’s Bar or Bat Mitzvah, start by contacting:
B’nei Mitzvah Coordinator
Lauren Pemberton
212-507-9609
Scheduling
All students registered for Religious School are able to book their bar or bat mitzvah date after the first day of their 3rd grade year by contacting the . Your child must be continuously enrolled in our Religious School from the point of booking until the end of the year of their ceremony in order to confirm and maintain a date.
More Information on Scheduling
- There are three available ceremony times (10:30 AM, 12:30 PM, 5:00 PM) on most Saturdays between Labor Day and the second Saturday in June. Each ceremony is for one child only, unless it is a ceremony for twins.
- Consider recommendations from your child’s secular school; some schools may work to assure that students will not have conflicting service dates and times.
- It is often meaningful to have your child’s ceremony near their actual thirteenth birthday, but is not necessarily the only option. Scheduling is flexible within the months on either side of the birthday. The date must be scheduled at least a year in advance.
- Shortly after selecting a date, you will receive a contract laying out the payment schedule and other details, as well as a document describing musical service options for the afternoon and evening services.
Ceremony Times and Locations
At Emanu-El, we strive to provide each family with a meaningful and personal Bar/Bat Mitzvah experience. Each child at Temple Emanu-El has their own individual service, and we offer options to further personalize the ceremony.
The differences between morning and afternoon or evening services at Emanu-El:
10:30 AM Service
- Public and open to the community.
- In Fifth Avenue Sanctuary only.
- Student chants Torah and Haftarah, leads prayers in English and Hebrew, and delivers their sermon.
- Family members have an opportunity to bless the student in their own words, as well as being honored by being called to bless before and after Torah readings (text of blessings and recording available through this link).
- Classical service: (Includes choir and organ at no charge); Other musical options available at additional cost.
12:30 PM Service
- This service is private for you and your invited guests only.
- Fifth Avenue Sanctuary and Beth El Chapel are available.
- Students chant Torah, lead prayers in Hebrew and English, and deliver their sermon.
- Family members have an opportunity to bless the student in their own words, as well as being honored by being called to bless before and after Torah readings (text of blessings and recording available through this link).
- A wide variety of musical options are available – for more information and pricing, please contact the
5:00 PM Service
- This service is private for you and your invited guests only.
- Fifth Avenue Sanctuary and Beth El Chapel are available.
- Students chant Torah, lead prayers in Hebrew and English, and deliver their sermon.
- Family members have an opportunity to bless the student in their own words, as well as being honored by being called to bless before and after Torah readings (text of blessings and recording available through this link).
- A wide variety of musical options are available – for more information and pricing, please contact the
- The service concludes with a Havdalah ceremony between September and March 14.
Our Sacred Spaces
At Temple Emanu-El, we offer two spaces where your child may become a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. The morning service always takes place in the Fifth Avenue Sanctuary, while the afternoon and evening services may take place in either the Fifth Avenue Sanctuary or the Beth-El Chapel.
The main difference between the two sanctuaries is the size, so your choice may depend on how many people are attending your child’s service, or how comfortable your child feels speaking in a large room. The Fifth Avenue Sanctuary seats 2,400 people, and the Beth-El Chapel seats approximately 250 people. You and your child are most welcome to come in and view both spaces. Please contact the to set up a time.
Beth-El Chapel
The Main Fifth Avenue Sanctuary
Musical Options
For pricing, please contact our.
Additional instruments for morning, afternoon, or evening: Violin, Percussion, Bass
Choral singers available for afternoon and evening: Quartet or Octet
Leading Up to the Ceremony
The clergy team provides a series of check-in points leading up to your family’s ceremony in order to continue to enrich the process with meaning, create community around this moment in your family’s lifecycle, and to provide ongoing support towards your child’s special moment.
5th/6th Grade Program - Starting the Journey
Depending upon your child’s age and the date of their ceremony, either in 5th or 6th grade they will attend with at least one parent a program designed to provide a general overview of the b’nei mitzvah program, as well as to help provide context for the meaning of the ceremony. During this program, you will work with a member of our clergy or education team to pick the Torah verses your child will chant on the day of their ceremony.
Year out meeting - Checking In
In this meeting about a year out from your child’s ceremony, you will have the opportunity to touch base with one of our clergy members, ask questions, discuss the meaning and goals of the ceremony, and check in about the process leading up to the ceremony.
Seminar 1 - Intro to B’nei Mitzvah
9-11 months out from your child’s ceremony you and the child will attend a seminar led by Rabbi Davidson and Cantor Glazman. During this seminar you will be introduced to the cohort of other b’nei mitzvah families you will move through the process with, will learn more about the intricacies of Jewish prayer and the b’nei mitzvah ceremony, and learn about the tutoring process. The tutoring process begins immediately after this seminar.
Seminar 2 - Beginning Your Sermon
4-6 months out from your child’s ceremony you and the child will attend a seminar led by Rabbi Kahn and Rabbi Sapadin. During this seminar you will be introduced to the process of writing a d’var Torah, the Jewish mode of deriving and sharing wisdom from the Torah. After the seminar, ongoing check-ins with Rabbi Kahn and Rabbi Sapadin will help you finish a draft of the d’var Torah prior to Seminar 3.
Seminar 3 - Preparing for Your Ceremony
2-4 months out from your child’s ceremony, students come together one final time in order share to share their sermons with each other. This seminar is led by Rabbi Amy Ehrlich. During the seminar, students will be able to hear each others’ work and provide feedback. Parents will have the opportunity to consider and learn about how they can turn their child’s ritual into a meaningful familial moment full of blessings from the Jewish tradition.
The Month Before
- Each family will meet with their officiating rabbi and cantor in the month leading up to the ceremony. During these meetings, the child will rehearse each part they have prepared, including their sermon, and will work with the rabbi to continue their preparation.
- Four weeks out rehearsal with the cantor.
- Three weeks out rehearsal with the cantor AND a family meeting with the rabbi.
- Two weeks out rehearsal with the rabbi.
- One week out rehearsal with the rabbi.
Important Documents For Your Child’s Process
B’nei Mitzvah Binder Siddur
This binder siddur will contain a print out of the prayer book your child will use for their ceremony. We will guide you to insert their final sermon in it, as well as a photocopy of the pieces of Torah (and Haftarah for morning b’nei mitzvah) they will be chanting.
Torah Packet
This packet, created by Behrman House, has the entirety of the Torah portion for the week of your child’s ceremony. We will work with you and your child to pick the pieces they will be responsible for chanting. The contents of the packet, particularly traditional commentaries, will also act as resources for the creation of your child’s d’var Torah (sermon).
Kol Koré
Not a document, but an interactive website, Kol Koré will function as the online home base for your child’s learning. All Hebrew content they will learn will be guided via this website. After your Year Out Meeting with a clergy member, you will be sent a link and login information for your child.
Tutoring
Temple Emanu-El offers in-house group tutoring in-person only. This tutoring program begins immediately after Seminar 1. Students attend 60 minutes of group tutoring once a week for 9 months.
This program will then culminate in three months of one-to-one 20-minute check-in meetings with our cantors.
Group Tutoring Details
The tutoring program begins with four hour-long, in-person sessions with our Assistant Cantor. In these sessions, the students will learn the essential skills for using the Kol Kore software. This program provides our students with the text and musical training that they will need to effectively chant their Torah portion and prayers. In addition, our students will work on the prayers and blessings they will lead during their ceremonies. Finally, in studying together, our students will develop a sense of camaraderie and social connection as our newest cohort of b’nei mitzvah trainees.
Following the group class, each student will be paired with one of our in-house tutors. The student and tutor will meet weekly at Emanu-El for eight months. During these sessions the student will work on his or her Torah and Haftarah portions.
Finally, for the last three months of tutoring, the student will have weekly 15-minute check ins with their officiating Cantor. This time is set aside to finish up any learning and develop fluency for all the Hebrew chanting. Of course, this is also a great opportunity for the cantor to get to know the student and for the student to get to know the cantor.
The tutoring program culminates with a few sessions in the sanctuary with the officiating clergy. During these sessions, the student, family and clergy will talk through all of the elements of the service, practice their chanting and reading, and develop a sense of comfort on the bimah.
Private Tutoring Option
If group tutoring does not fit the needs of your family, we have curated a list of qualified private tutors available upon request. We strongly encourage you to engage a tutor from our vetted list. If you have already identified another tutor, please put them in contact with our in order to have them made aware of our program.
Cantorial Check-Ins
The program culminates in three months of weekly one-to-one 20-minute check-in meetings with our cantors, which function as fine-tuning and guidance to finish up the learning process.
Fees
Membership dues and all fees, including Religious School tuition, must be paid in full three months prior to the B’nei Mitzvah date.
More Information
- Tutoring fees are separate from b’nei mitzvah fees. Group tutoring takes place through Emanu-El. Private tutoring is negotiated between the family and the individual tutor – private tutors are not employed by Emanu-El.
- Any child becoming bar or bat mitzvah at Congregation Emanu-El must be continuously enrolled in the Religious School in order to confirm and maintain a date.
- Please contact our for further questions regarding fees.
Planning Logistics For Your Day
We continue to develop our new processes towards post-COVID ceremonies and celebrations. If you have any particular questions regarding security, photography, flowers, or receptions, please contact .
Event Planning
A comprehensive list of important details in planning your child’s bar/bat mitzvah.
The years leading up to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah
Pre-K – 2nd Grade
• Enroll child in Religious School
• Attend family programs, holiday celebrations, and worship services
• Get to know our clergy and other families
3rd Grade
• Attend a B’nei Mitzvah information session
• A date for a Bar or Bat Mitzvah service may be scheduled after Labor Day of the student’s 3rd grade for students enrolled in our Religious School. To do so, please contact our
4th Grade
• Attend a B’nei Mitzvah information session if you have not already done so
• You can also book service dates in 4th Grade. To do so, please contact our
5th and 6th Grade
- Attend the 5th/6th Grade B’nei Mitzvah Mini-Retreat
- Attend a Shabbat Morning worship service at Temple Emanu-El (at least once)
- B’nei Mitzvah dates must be reserved at least a year in advance
Opportunities After B’nei Mitzvah
