Event Planning
A comprehensive list of important details in planning your child’s bar/bat mitzvah.
Scheduling
You may call the Membership Office to schedule your service any time after the Labor Day when your child enters third grade. Select a prospective date and time, or have a few dates in mind if you are flexible. Consider recommendations from your child’s secular school; some schools may work to assure that students will not have conflicting service dates and times.
Shortly after selecting a date, you will receive a contract laying out the payment schedule and other details, as well as a document describing musical service options for the afternoon and evening services. Please return the signed contract along with a $1,000 booking fee within 30 days to officially secure your date and time.
Your child must be continuously enrolled in our Religious School in order to confirm and maintain a date.
The differences between morning and afternoon or evening services at Emanu-El:
| Service Type | Time | Location | Music | Media |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Morning Service (open to the community) | 10:30 AM | Fifth Avenue Sanctuary | Classical service (Includes choir and organ at no charge) | Livestreaming/Video and video services included |
| Afternoon or Evening Service (private) | 12:30 PM or 5:00 PM | Fifth Avenue Sanctuary or Beth-El Chapel | Contemporary and classical service options available depending on time and location (at an additional cost) | Livestream/Video available at an additional cost |
Fees
| Within 30 days of the booking date | $1,000 – Deposit returned with a signed contract |
| 1 year prior to the scheduled date | $1,325 – Balance of Bar/Bat mitzvah fees billed
Consider whether you wish to host a Kiddush after your child’s ceremony (for morning/afternoon services only) |
| 3 months prior to the scheduled date | Balance of membership dues, Religious School tuition, and Bar/Bat mitzvah fees due
$450-$2,200 – Music package add-on fee billed (for afternoon/evening services only) $400 – Livestream/video fee billed (for afternoon/evening services only) |
| 1 month prior to the scheduled date | Balance of music package and livestream/video fees due
Balance of Kiddush fees due |
- Private tutoring begins 9 months before the Bar/Bat Mitzvah and costs $100-$200 an hour.
- Your membership dues and all fees, including Religious School tuition, must be paid in full three months prior to the bar/bat mitzvah date.
- Any child who is becoming bar or bat mitzvah at Congregation Emanu-El must be continuously enrolled in the Religious School in order to confirm and maintain a date.
- The Bar/Bat Mitzvah fee includes the Friday Night Oneg Shabbat reception, which follows the Friday Shabbat Service on the evening before your child becomes a bar or bat mitzvah. Your family will be honored at this service, and our clergy looks forward to celebrating with you then.
Timeline
The years leading up to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah
Pre-K – 2nd Grade
• Enroll child in Religious School
• Attend family programs, holiday celebrations, and worship services
• Get to know our clergy and other families
3rd Grade
• Attend a B’nai Mitzvah information session
• NEW: A date for a Bar or Bat Mitzvah service may be scheduled beginning in 3rd grade. To do so, please contact the membership department at (212) 507-9515 or
• Once you have scheduled a date, return the signed contract along with the $1,000 booking fee within 30 days to secure your date
4th Grade
• Attend a B’nai Mitzvah information session if you have not already done so
• You can also book service dates in 4th Grade. to do so, please contact the membership department at (212) 507-9515 or
• Once you have scheduled, return the signed contract along with the $1,000 booking fee within 30 days to secure your date
5th and 6th Grade
• Attend both the 5th/6th Grade B’nai Mitzvah Mini-Retreats
• Participate in a Shabbat Morning worship service at Temple Emanu-El (at least once)
• Be a Friday night Shabbat Greeter (contact the Membership Office to learn more and sign up)
The year prior to becoming Bar/Bat Mitzvah
1 year prior
• Meet with Rabbi Amy Ehrlich to receive your child’s Torah portion and formally begin the B’nai Mitzvah process as a family
9 Months Prior
• Select your tutor based on recommendations from Rabbi Amy Ehrlich and begin working together, continue for the coming months
6 Months Prior
• Begin meeting monthly with a cantor for “check-ins” on your child’s progress
3 Months Prior
• Finalize musical service and livestreaming options (for the 12:30 and 5:00 PM services only)
6 Weeks Prior
• Meet with the Rabbi who will officiate your child’s service
4 Weeks Prior
• Begin weekly meetings with the rabbi or cantor to rehearse in the Fifth Avenue Sanctuary or Beth-El Chapel
Friday Night Prior
• Join us for Shabbat Services as your family is honored at the Oneg Shabbat
Day of the Service
• Child is called to the Torah as a Bar/Bat Mitzvah
Beyond Bar/Bat Mitzvah
• Stay involved in our Emanu-El community through volunteering, learning, and worship
FAQs
Q: Should I choose the Fifth Avenue Sanctuary or Beth-El Chapel? Which one is better for my child?
At Temple Emanu-El, we offer two spaces where your child may become a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. The morning service always takes place in the Fifth Avenue Sanctuary, while the afternoon and evening services may take place in either the Fifth Avenue Sanctuary or the Beth-El Chapel.
The main difference between the two sanctuaries is the size, so your choice may depend on how many people are attending your child’s service, or how comfortable your child feels speaking in a large room. The Fifth Avenue Sanctuary seats 2,400 people, and the Beth-El Chapel seats approximately 250 people. You and your child are most welcome to come in and view both spaces. Please contact the Membership Office to set up a time.
Fifth Avenue Sanctuary
Beth-El Chapel
Q: Will my child read from the Torah at an afternoon or evening service? What about Haftarah?
Torah is read at all B’nai Mitzvah services. Haftarah is read in the morning, but not during afternoon or evening services. A Havdalah ceremony can be included as part of the evening service.
